Something Seems Funky

Welcome (back) to my blog dear reader! I am so glad you are here. 😄 I hope you enjoy your time here.

The last week hasn’t been great. In fact it’s really sucked. My mental health has been suffering and I’ve lost a lot of my motivation. And as much as talking to people, having a good friend group and supportive family is great, the only one who could pull me out of this funk was me. It was on me to make the decision.

So I did.

I admitted I felt like crap and I needed to change it. This might be something you’ve gone through dear reader. If so, you know how it feels. Like you’re in a hole surrounded by mirrors. You see your reflection and it looks the same as always but it’s not you. You’re still stuck in this hole and you can’t get out. To get out of this funk, dark mood, whatever you want to call it, there are a lot of ways to make a ladder so to speak. For me, the frame and first rung is praying.

Prayer, prayer, prayer. The one thing I should do a lot more of daily. I saw a sign outside a church once and normally the cheesy lines don’t always stick with me but this one did. “If God feels far away, guess who moved?” Oof. The first thing I did was decide I needed to move back toward God. I had to admit to Him I was lost and I need(ed) help. It always shocks me how much praying honestly helps my mental health. I *really* should get better at the whole daily prayer thing. I was so good at it as a kid. Self? Do better.

Once I got off my knees and was starting to feel a little better I started doing other things I can control and I know usually make me happy. I took a hot shower, put on a comfy dress, and started cleaning my room to worship music. It was a scene y’all lemme tell ya. I was dancing around and getting things done, randomly bursting into tears because God is so good y’all. It was a good hour of prayer and positivity in my room and just letting it affect me in a good way.

Now, I’m not 100% but I feel better today. I have done some reading on joy in suffering that has helped me. The Gospel of Matthew Chapter 10 Verse 38 says: “He who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.” I want to be worthy of Jesus. So if my anxiety is my cross to bear I will do so with His help. “Suffering in itself does not make us holy. It is only when we unite it, out of love to the suffering of Christ that it has meaning. Suffering without love is wasted pain.” -- Mother Angelica. This week I want to unite my suffering with Jesus. It is my prayer that through this I will experience healing and grace.

I hope y’all have a great week and I’m keeping y’all in my prayers. ☀️💙